This is a (tenuous) follow on from the previous blog. “I LIKE YOU…….DO YOU?
After re reading it I began to question the meaning of FRIEND/S.
Also – I was asked this, in my recent therapy session by the psychologist.
The actual question/s were:
Did you not have friends when you were younger?
And what about now?
We all go through different phases of ‘friends’; I believe.
When we first start kindy / prep school, there is the never ending encouragement of “making” friends. God forbid if we are just quiet and want to play on our own and not with 30+ other personalities.
What if you are isolated by distance from other children? Such as my siblings and I were in earlier years. Or even greater distances like children on large outback stations or ranches. Then sent away to boarding school at 8+ years old. how does the formation of friends impact this?
There is the interaction of parents and family that shapes our “friendships”. Some are because your parents (family members) are ‘friends with other families. And there is the expectation that you and little Johnny or jenny are just going to get along fine. ‘
And some people do become friends through this interaction and do so for a certain number of years. Then we, all, begin to mature, move house, school, or church, sporting league etc.…Where we begin to cultivate or find new ‘friends’.
Once again, these ‘friends’ last as long as the life process allows it to be and a new cycle begins – marriage, divorce, work situations, birth of children, either your own or theirs.
Like swirls in a moving stream we move from one group of ‘friends’ to another. Some stay for most of our lives. I can think of an Aunt and Uncle who have another couple as their best friends. It seems neither couple can do anything without the other. This in a way is admirable BUT I think these types of friendships are more about their own ability to socialize. Look at groups who go holidaying together every time. Is this healthy? Or is it they are so complacent that they really do not reach out to other people who actually may want to be more than acquaintance’s with them.
Then there are your work colleagues. They are friends to a degree but at the office door is pretty much where that friendship starts and finishes on a day to day basis.
So back to the questions. I think I did have friends when I was younger but none of them lasted that long. And as, for now, no not really. As the true Capricorn that I am I find being on my own empowering because it allows me to come and go as I please without having to justify why I am doing XYZ. I do like my work mates so Yes I do have friends; of sorts.
“I Like You”
It’s a simple three words, spoken by all of us; at one time or another.
But the real question is – which one is it?
Is it the one where people say it just to placate you?
Or (in a condescending tone of voice) state it a bit too loudly as so everyone around can hear ‘their’ justification of acknowledging you??
Is it the one that family and friends say because they don’t want to seem to be too sappy / sentimental/emotional. When they really mean that there is love in their thoughts and heart for you??
Of course the follow on one from this is said in a softer edged and sensual tone of voice. Indicating an underlying desire, for that person to want you to know that they do have, some sort of, emotional feelings for you.
There is the PROFESSIONAL “Ï Like You”. This is the one we all get from our bosses / coworkers / department managers etc. At times it is mainly non emotional and duly means that they like you as an employee but that’s as far as the relationship goes. And they recognize your contribution to making the organisation ‘look good.’ (sic)
SO when your own world – personal and professional – is a bit all over the place how do you interpret these 3 simple words? And do you take it at face value for the way it was verbalized? (at the time).
Or do you listen to it and mull over it for some time either then or later, wondering what bought on this declaration, from that person?
How does one decipher the intention of the words?
Do we seek advice from a friend / BFF / Bro’ or family trusted family member? Even then do you go on online to see what the Social Media crowd have got to say about it? Unlike the other 3 little words these ones are definitely open for interpretation.
Now my question to the one who said this to me a few weeks back. What I heard at the time was the “I (really do) like you”. You said it in that quieter soft voice. Since then I been waiting for you to do something about it.
Because, I know that “I really do like you”.
Every day I see you – I still smile. You make me feel happy and I really do want to know you and what makes you tick.
I am not sure how to make this thing between us move forward and there is something because I see you smile and the way your eyes have that sparkle and that slight awkwardness between us, at work.
I do care about your work /life balance. I like your professional ethics and management style. Maybe I am wrong (deluded from too many books and movies LOL). So maybe /was I wrong and misinterpreted the “I Like You”
It must have been the professional courtesy one; all along.
On what has been a pretty ordinary week, work and health wise – yep have massively huge head cold. I switched the TV on to find. OHHH YEAH a tribute special to the BEE GEES.
Best cure ever to illness and thoughts of quitting, said dull job, etc. So far a terrific line up of artists.
I ask any of you to dispute that their music DOES NOT make you feel great.
Even a spontaneous bop around the lounge room / kitchen or where ever you may be when you hear their music.
Hip Hip Hooray to the brothers GIBB
Yarn – i love yarn.
The wool variety not the story telling kind
although it too can be inspiring, witty, interesting, long winded and plain boring.
OHH but yarn – the smell of fine (or chunky) spun merino wool.
Actually alpaca, possum, and goats is so soft to touch too.
Then there is the silk and cotton varieties.
I love the feel of it all. Not the acrylic stuff. it looks cheap and has no sensuality about it.
Yarn is visceral, memory evoking, imaginative, and cheerful.
Yarn has so many wonderful shades, hues and colors that it is mind numbing hard to decide what or which one I want to choose next. Then there is the research for the right perfect project to match that yarn.
Yarn comes in all sorts of ply, lengths, hanks, balls, or spools.
Yarn is one of the best ever invented meditative tools.
Yarn is comfort, homey, days gone by.
Yarn is oh so wonderful its bees knees in my eyes.
“You may not realise it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” Walt Disney. One of the most universally recognised concepts of ancient Chinese philosophy is the idea that all things exist as contradictory, yet inseparable opposites. Commonly known as the Yin and […]
OK i have no real thoughts of my own to share dear followers but i do empathise with Chris and love his work. Thus I am sharing again. So please read his article ( and any of the past articles) I assure you you will absolutely agree with this one.
There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting. source: The Buddha image: Eddie’s Garden, Eddie’s Photos, Spring 2016