Inspired by this event I am going to have a go at 10 (ten) things that AIN’T gunna be on my Christmas bucket list. Yes sireee!! An Anti Bucket Christmas List.
- Salmon for Christmas Lunch.. Why is this always the ‘choice’ of ‘chefs’ in all those ‘How to have a magical christmas ‘ magazine issues??? Seriously who can afford that stuff and most of the time majority of your guests do not like it.
- Gift Wrap for men. ok !ok !ok ! Yes, Us girls love pretty paper, at this time of year and other special occasions BUT men , well, let us just say they really do not give a ‘flying fig’ because it only reminds them of the fact YOU bought the presents not them.. or that they hate the whole ritualistic thing of christmas when all they want to do is kick back and relax without all the extra gruff.
- Removing Price Tags. I figure if my brother, uncle, dad, etc do not care enough about me and my feelings then I am not going to bother wrecking my newly grown fingernails; yes i bite them. and try to remove those gunky, sticky hard to move price tags. Any way your only going to feign surprise and re gift it.
- Drink (cheap) Sparkling excuse for Champagne and pretend I lurvee the taste of it all because you really do not have class. Your as down to earth as the next person. So just give me a G & T.. gott it
- Be Nice yes – be nice to your ex boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, lover or whatever that you decide to ‘include’ IN OUR FAMILY gathering. WHO are you kidding no one wants to be ‘friends’ after the fact its over.
- Christmas Carols. OMG what is there to say after approximately 3-4 weeks of listening to them, every version available, where ever I go.. I am definitely having a Carol Free xmas from now on. NOW if only I could get hold of that invention to get songs outta my head…..sigh
- Pretend I am on a diet… your supposed to act like a pig at the trough at Christmas…… WHY else would whinge about through to the new year.
- Watch Any of those OLD Christmas Movies... Give me Die hard any day Or a great football / sports movie like “On any sunday”.
- WAKE UP EARLY….. Again OMG what for???? i am no longer a child, and besides if I do that means I have to start the roast or turkey or last minute extra food or wrap all those presents you did not get around to doing last night.
- DRIVE ( fly etc) hundreds of miles to listen to an argument of any sort. That includes all you spoilt kids. Give me Peace and QUIet many time on christmas day. remember it is all about harmony…..
Well not all of these are really funny unless you have been to my family christmas gatherings. They are fraught with danger like a an abandoned minefield. There is always custody issues with two of my siblings and their offspring. And because of that I really do not know what my nieces and nephews do want or like. Because we are always usurped by the other crowd; it is like they are psychic and know how hard we try to get something fantastic for the kids only to find out they got them one too.
I seem to be the “goose’ who always takes over cooking lunch etc. And in the end I never get anything I really do like.
So happy holidays