@#$% It’s Cold!

once again Austin has nailed it on the head. And made me laugh, even though its a HOT 32 C here in australia.. Bravo

The Return of the Modern Philosopher

Winter in Maine, Christmas, Polar Vortex, Frigid Temperatures, The New Ice Age, poetry, profanity, humor, Modern Philosopher@#$% it’s cold!

It’s almost Christmas,

So in honor

Of the holiday,

Everything

Should be red and green,

But my fingers

And lips

Are frostbite blue.

If I hear the words

“Polar Vortex”

Escape from your

Frozen lips,

I will punch you

Right in the face.

I know Santa Claus

Is watching,

But I am too frozen

To give a @#$%.

Put me on

The Naughty List, Santa.

At least

That way,

I’ll get coal

In my stocking,

And can burn it

To warm up again.

Winter’s uncomfortable presence

Is extremely evident

In this part of the world

That the sun has forgotten.

I am beginning to think

That Maine

Is nothing more

Than the southernmost part

Of the North Pole.

At least that

Would explain

The dozens of penguins

Sunning themselves

On my frost covered

Front lawn.

@#$% it’s cold!

I farted earlier,

And ended up

With ice cubes

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