So this is Christmas ??

Dear Santa ( or whoever)

I am going to attempt to write one of those end of year letters that everyone gets.

It is Christmas Day, here in Australia, and as per the weather calendar it has hit a warmish 32 C.

Whilst in far North west Western Australia they are have a huge cyclonic type downpour and humidity to totally hate.

So: Santa I have been pretty darn good this year. Once again it has had the usual amount of topsy turvy, roller coaster moments and days to it.

In January I, once again, tried to believe that by turning 51 it would be a bigger brighter more funfilled and loved filled ( and sex filled) year to come.

Then came early February.  This is when i found out my friend Robin was being divorced by his wife of 20+ years, and it had become VERY acrimonious, SHE said, SHE said etc, and then there was a trumped up Domestic Violence Order placed against him.  His 2 teenage girls were trapped in the middle; not knowing what to believe.

Along with his family, my brother and 4 other good friends we all rallied around to help hold him up.  This has been an ongoing all year thing now so SANTA this is def. BIG Brownie points.

Feb 29 : We learned of the death of Holley. She had been a codeine (& other prescription drug) user for apx. 21 years after a minor car bingle; aged 18. plus a bit of a drinker.. Sepsis was the final death knell there.  Unfortunately , in her selfishness she left behind Adam (39) and Angus (6 now 7).   Once again, I offered unconditional support and help.

It was, also, 2 years since dad had died.  I believe he is taking care of her now.

Of course Easter came and went with far too much chocolate eating, the depression set in but i do believe upon reflection I managed it rather well.  My brother’s relationship, with the mother of his youngest child unraveled quickly after 12 years.   That was disappointing. MUM began having more strokes on a daily basis and i think he began to struggle with that; also.

In May i  doing a variety of casual work. Now that good brownies points.

I started and kept to my mental health, psychiatrist, gp regimes and appointments and took my drugs every day like a good girl.  In June i visited Adam weekly; to talk to him, listen, just sit and help him with anything he wanted.   I am glad he undertook professional grief counselling.

Our mother finally succumbed to her brain cancer in July.  For me, as you know, it was a relief….My siblings took it pretty hard especially the estranged one and his kids.

IN July I began work at Coles Supermarket in nearby Hoppers Crossing. Originally I was the 2ic Night fill replenishment manager BUT Santa you knew what happened there.

As it was a brand new supermarket there was plenty of politics, eventually things had to give. One of them was the cut back in hours for me and 2 others. Yes we knew about the bullying and harassment by the duty managers.  But the upper management did not want to know.  BUT I have prevailed, toed the company line and yes I am still there 6 months later.   BIG KUDOS to me..   More brownie points.

August, September and October bought much the same except I took up the challenge from my mental health team.  So I took myself away on overnight day trip type weekends to places i really had not seen before in Victoria.  I made myself talk to strangers: yes-  you the man at that winery cellar door, the girl in the lovely cafe, the terrific motel owners in Cobram, and the people at the strawberry farm.   You have no idea how much the conversations you had with me made me feel alive. And not so stupid.

Along the way i saw 3-4 nice looking men but i really had a hard time trying to think of something to say to them.  so i just window shopped. No harm there???

I continued to support my friends Adam and Robin; my family and yet the “change is as good as a holiday”ideal left me a bit depleted and unsure if it really is.

November:–  Amber turned 18: gosh already, my niece is 18….wow oh wow. My brother David turned 50 and we had a party with all siblings and friends turning up.  One thing I do well is throw a party with plenty of food. They all had a great time mountain bike riding, we even saw a large echidna up close.

December: well it is Christmas again, BUT i do feel a bit more sure of myself, i know my employers will re instate me. We now have new management team and I really like working with them. I can ask questions and learn on the job.  It may only be 20 hours a week but damn it feels good to earn money.  We finally buried mum on the 10th…Now we can all move on.

It is Christmas day and life goes on. For the guys have just come and turned their pump on to water their 30 acres of broccoli, growing outside our back door, nearby i can hear a tractor plowing, and other pumps going, whilst in the early hours across the road the field workers were picking cos lettuce for the markets.

So Santa well done on a job well done.

I know you cannot stop all that misguided terrorist stuff BUT the rest of us have your back.

SO Santa. I have been good this year.  Can you now help me find some one to love in my up coming 52 ND year.????

Luv ya’work

robyn

 

 

 

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